Strategy Building Confidence

have you ever had a crisis of confidence or in everyday language "not confident" in the face of a situation or problem? I'm sure almost everyone has experienced a crisis of confidence in a range of life, from childhood to adulthood and even into old age. Of course, loss of self-confidence into something very disturbing, especially when faced with challenges or new situations. Individuals often say to myself, "I was not a coward like this .... so this is why now?" There is a saying: "kok I do not like him, ... who always believed myself ... it's always there less of me ... I am ashamed to be who I am! "
In response to the above conditions will display a question in our minds: why confidence is so important in the lives of individuals. So does lack of confidence can be improved so as not to hinder the development of the individual in carrying out everyday tasks as well as in interpersonal relationships. If that sense of confidence kurnag can be improved, whether steps should be done? These questions I will answer in this article.

Confidence

Self-confidence is a positive attitude that enables an individual to develop his positive assessment both to themselves and the environment / situation. This does not mean that the individual is capable and competent to do everything by himself, aka "magic". Confidence is high in fact only referring to the fact that various aspects of individual life where he felt competent, confident, capable and believes that he can - because it is supported by the experience, the actual potential, achievements and realistic expectations of yourself.

Characteristics or individual characteristics of self-confidence

Some of the features or characteristics of individuals who have the confidence that is proportional, among others:

* Believe in competencies / abilities, so do not need praise, recognition, acceptance, or even respect other people
* No incentive to show for the conformist attitude accepted by another person or group
* Dare to accept and deal with the rejection of others - dare to be yourself
* Have good self-control (not moody and emotionally unstable)
* Having an internal locus of control (see the success or failure, depending on the business yourself and not easily surrender to fate or circumstance, and not dependent / expect help from others)
* Having a positive outlook about yourself, others and situations ornag outside itself
* Have realistic expectations of yourself, so that when expectations were not realized, he still could see the positive side of himself and the situation.

Characteristics or individual characteristics are less confident

Some of the features or characteristics of individuals who lack confidence, including:

* Trying to conformist attitude, merely to get their recognition and acceptance of group
* Save a fear / anxiety of rejection
* It is difficult to accept the reality of self (especially accepting lack dir) and contempt of self - but on the other hand put unrealistic expectations of yourself
* Pessimistic, easily assess all of the negative side
* Fear of failure, thus avoiding all the risks and did not dare set targets for success
* Tend to reject praise sincerely intended (due to self undervalued)
* Always put / positioning itself as the last, because he was not able to assess
* Having an external locus of control (easy to give in to fate, the state and sangattergantung recognition / acceptance and assistance of others)

Development of Self-Esteem

Parenting
The experts believe that confidence is not obtained instantly, but through the process from an early age in life with his parents. Although many factors influence a person's self confidence, but parenting factors and interactions at an early age, is a fundamental factor for the formation of trust diri.Sikap parents, will be received by the child according to his perception at the time. parents who show love, attention, acceptance, love and affection and a genuine emotional attachment with the child, will evoke a sense of self percara on the child. Children will feel that they are precious and valuable in the eyes of parents. And, although he made a mistake, of being the child's parents saw that she still respected and loved. Children are loved and appreciated rather than depending on the achievement or good deed, but because eksisitensinya. Later the child will grow into individuals who can assess themselves and have positive expectations realistic about themselves - such as his parents put unrealistic expectations on him.
Another case with a lack of parental attention to children, or critical, often scolded the child but if the kids do well never praised, never satisfied with the results achieved by the child, or even as if to show their distrust in the ability and independence with an attitude increasingly overprotective increase dependency. Action overprotective parents, inhibiting the development of self-confidence in children because children do not learn to overcome their own problems and challenges - everything is provided and assisted parents. Children will feel, that he was bad, weak, unloved, unneeded, always failing, never pleasant and happy parents. Children will feel inferior in the eyes of other siblings or in front of his friends.
According to psychologists, parents and community standards and often put less realistic expectations of a child or any individual. Attitudes like to compare kids, child defame weakness, or even discuss the advantages other kids in front of their own children, without conscious self-esteem dropped children. In addition, people often unwittingly create a trend which is used as a benchmark standard of performance or social acceptance. Examples of real cases that happened in this country, when a child's suicide because he was not admitted into the major A1 (IPA), although he had attended the elite places, apparently the parents expect their children received at least A1 or A2 , so that could later become a doctor. Or, parents who force their children take these lessons and that, just because the other kids did, too.
This situation ultimately encourage children to grow into individuals who can not cope with him, because in the past (even today), everyone expected him to be someone who is not himself. In other words, to meet social expectations. Finally, children grow into individuals who have the mindset: that to be accepted, appreciated, loved, and acknowledged, to please others and follow their wishes. At the time the individual is challenged to be themselves - they do not have the courage to do it. His confidence was so weak, while the fear is too great.

Negative Mindset
In social life, every individual has a variety of issues, events, meeting new people, etc.. Individual reaction to a person or an event, heavily influenced by the way he thinks. Individuals with self-confidence is weak, tend to perceive all things from the negative side. He does not realize that from within her was all the negativism come from. The mindset of individuals who lack confidence, are characterized by, among others:

* Emphasizing the imperatives of self ( "I have to be this way ... I have to be so"). When he failed, the individual is felt throughout life and destroyed her future.
* How to think the totality and dualism: "if I fail, then I was ugly"
* A futuristic pessimistic: one small failure, these individuals will not have to feel achieved his goals in the future. For example, getting a C in one course, immediately think he was not going to graduate degree.
* Not a critical and selective of self-criticism: critical self and believe that he deserves to be criticized.
* Labeling: easy to blame yourself and give negative titles, like "I was stupid "..." I was destined to be the trouble", etc. ....
* It is difficult to accept any praise or positive things from someone else: when people praise is sincere, the individual immediately felt bad and rejected the compliment. When given the opportunity and confidence to accept the job or an important role, the individual immediately rejected on the grounds inappropriate and not worthy to receive it.
* Suka undermine self success: pleased remembering and even exaggerate the mistakes made, but discouraging success ever achieved. One small mistake, making the individual feel instantly become useless.

Nurturing Self-Esteem
To foster self-confidence that the individual must be proportionate to start from within ourselves. This is very important to remember that only the individual who can overcome his lack of confidence he is experiencing. Some of the following suggestions may be feasible to consider if you are experiencing a crisis of confidence.

1. Assess themselves objectively
Learn to assess themselves objectively and honestly. Make a list of "wealth" person, such as performance ever achieved, positive qualities, both potential is actualized or not, skill, and opportunity or means to support themselves progress. Be aware of all the valuable assets you and find assets that have not been developed. Study the obstacles that so far prevented the development yourself, such as the wrong mindset, intentions and weak motivation, lack of self discipline, lack of persistence and patience, depending on the help of others, or causes any other external. Analysis and mapping of the SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Obstacles and Threats) himself, then used to create and implement self-development strategies are more realistic.

2. Give honest appreciation of self
Be aware of and appreciate the slightest success and the potential you have. Remember that it obtained through a process of learning, evolving and transforming themselves from the first until now. Ignore / underestimate the achievements that had just reached, is to ignore or eliminate an impression that helps you find the right path towards the future. The inability of self-esteem, encourages unrealistic desires and excessive; example: to get rich quick, like a beautiful, popular, had an important position in every way. If further reviewed all of that actually comes from low self-esteem that chronic, rejection of self, inability to respect ourselves - to trying desperately to cover up the origin of themselves.

3. Positive thinking
Try fighting any assumptions, prejudices or negative perceptions that arise in your mind. You can say to yourself, that nobody's perfect and it's okay if I made a mistake. Do not let negative thoughts protracted because without conscious thought will continue to take root, branching and leafy. The larger and spreads, the more difficult to control and cut. Do not let negative thoughts control your thoughts and feelings. Be careful that your future is not damaged due to wrong decisions generated by wrong thoughts. If thoughts come, try to write it for later in the re-view re logically and rationally. In general, more people can see that the thought was not true.

4. Use the self-Affirmation
To combat the negative thinking, use of self-Affirmation in the forms of words that evoke a sense of confidence. Examples:

* I will!!
* I am a determinant of my own life. No one can determine my life!
* I can learn from this mistake. This error did become a very valuable lesson because it helps me understand the challenges
* I am in control of this life
* I am proud of myself

5. Dare to take risks
Based on an objective understanding of self, you can predict the risk of facing any challenge. Thus, you do not need to avoid any risk, but rather to use the strategies to avoid, prevent or even overcome the risks. For example, you do not need to please others to avoid the risk of rejection. If you want to develop themselves (not the self as you would expect someone else), there is a risk and challenge. However, worse was silent and did not do anything than go to grow by taking risks. Remember: No Risk, No Gain.

6. Learn to be grateful and enjoy the grace of God
There are adage says that says people who suffer most in life is people who can not thank God for what he had received in life. This means that these individuals have never tried to see things from a positive standpoint. Even the life she lived so far not seen as a gift from God. As a result, he could not grateful for all blessings, wealth, abundance, achievement, employment, skills, expertise, money, success, failures, difficulties and life experiences. He is like someone who always saw the sunset, never see the sun rise. His life was filled with complaints, anger, envy and jealousy, envy, disappointment, resentment, bitterness and despair. With the "burden" as it was, how the individual can enjoy life and see good things that happened in her life? No wonder if her afflicted feel less confident that chronic, as is always comparing himself with people who make "jealous" heart. Therefore, learn to be grateful for anything you experience and believe that God would want the best for your life.

7. Setting realistic goals
You need to evaluate the goals you set for this, in terms of whether that goal is realistic or not. By applying a more realistic goal, it will facilitate you in achieving that goal. Thus you will become more confident in taking steps, actions and decisions in achieving the future, while preventing unwanted risks.
There may be some other effective ways to foster self-confidence. If you can do some things serpti suggested above, meets these demands shall be free from the crisis of confidence. However, keep in mind one thing good is not until you have over-confidence or self-confidence berlebih-lebihan/overdosis. Confidence that an overdose was not drawing a healthy mental condition because it is a sense of confidence that is false.
Self-confidence is generally not excessive sourced from the existing potential, but rather based on the pressures that may come from parents and community (social), so without knowing the basis for individual motivation for the "must" be a success. In addition, perception can lead to false assumptions about ourselves until confidence is not so much based on real ability. This also can be obtained from the environment in which individuals in the exaggerated, from my friends (peer group) or from themselves (self concept that is not healthy). For example, a child who from birth instilled by parents, that he was special, special, smart, would be a success, etc. - but in the course of time the child had never had a track record of success is real and original (on the basis of its business itself). As a result, the child will grow up to be a manipulator and authoritarian - manipulate, dominate and control others to get what she wants. Self-esteem in such individuals is not based on real competence, but rather on factors external support, such as wealth, position, connection, relationship, back up power family, great parents names, etc.. So, if all attributes were removed, then the individual is not a nobody.

Confident Show Tips

* Stand up straight, the first step you can do is change the appearance, stand up straight, chest and try busungkan perfect tampillah. Just do not let looks disheveled dech, because one's appearance will determine the assessment of other people, make a first impression so tempting then up to you.
* Be assertive, from now on try to change the attitude, be a man who knows when to say no and when to say yes. All-time try not to imagine someone else will say anything about you. And do not be afraid to make changes.
* Objective judge themselves. No body's perfect, nobody else in this world is perfect, and there are no people in this world who do not really useful. Therefore be honest judge yourself, do not always think you are not able to and others are always superior. Everything is the same in spite of different skills, so why minder ....??? Nothing in it.
* Dispose of fear. Usually people who gak pede always difficult to express who she is on others. An easy way to stand up to other oarang is the speaker's eyes we are, but do not look at her. Another looked at the view, if you look at your opponent usually you talk, how they talk, how to look on his face. It's okay to like that just do not miss it, let alone reply to karuan not drool.
* A little strings attached. Try to be strings attached, but do not get stale because it will be boring beneran. Not all lip service is bad kok, to enhance self-confidence may also try it then.
* Talk to a point. features one of the less confident person is not a straightforward talk, always muter. And usually too much to say, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, such and the like, for example. "I'll eeeee, somebody, I'm not somebody ......".

source: www.e-psikologi.com